Family Systems is a modality that I’ve trained in and hold in high regard.
Right from the start, this way just resonated and felt right. In fact, I felt excited and passionate about it and knew that this was going to be ‘the road more travelled’ with my clients!
The title ‘Family Systems’ can be confusing – in fact, most of my counselling happens with one person (occasionally another person, either in the family, or not, may be asked to join for a session or two)
What I love about this method is that it puts you in a context of your family and encourages you to start to take personal responsibility as opposed to extremely common patterns of self-blame or blaming others!
With the help of a three generational genogram (family map) I will help you discover family patterns, ways of communicating to mention but a few all of which have had an effect on your life consciously or unconsciously! Working with a genogram is such dynamic work – it’s like you become a detective in your own life! Everything about you becomes important (after all, you are the most important person in your life) even things that you think maybe trivial could actually be significant!
I will then assist you with offering some ideas as to how to deal with what you have discovered!
And I will walk right next to you as you explore your internal state looking to acknowledge, own and transform patterns that might have been deeply embedded in your core for the longest time.
I will also listen to you attentively and ask you questions that keep you focused. At the same time, I am known for calling a spade a shovel but know, that if I challenge you on anything to confront denial possibly, it is done with complete love, respect and integrity.
What is amazing about this process, is that if you do your part and pitch up, and i don’t mean just physically, change starts to happen quite quickly and internal shifts begin to occur – once an internal shift happens, it can’t unhappen.
However, transformation sometimes has some physical and emotional side effects:
Physically, you may feel tired, headached, hot and cold flashes, and pain in various joints.
Emotionally, you may feel slightly weepy, a bit all over the place, vulnerable or a combination of all of these.
Any of these symptoms might make you feel like you do not want to return to the therapeutic space!
Please know that this is exactly what you are supposed to be going through! Its a mixture of an emotional, physical and spiritual detox! It will pass and drinking huge amounts of water will help! And whilst I am sorry for your discomfort, it means the process is working! And remember, this is the warrior’s journey!